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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Kids
Good
Snort
Snorted
Heroin
Accident
Accidents
Amazing

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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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It's good to be alive.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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