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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Year
Yankees
Games
Quit
Without
Quitting
Years
Ten
Drinking
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Yankee
More quotes by Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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It's good to be alive.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange