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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Always
Superman
Dad
Mind
More quotes by Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange