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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Superman
Dad
Mind
Always
More quotes by Artie Lange
If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange