Quote

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Running
Leads
Noon
Another
Tables
Cuba
Thing
Gun
Gambling
Would
Awful
Guns
Tomorrow
Tonight
Type
Table
Gets
Clock
Guy
Eventually
Roulette

More quotes by Artie Lange

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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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It's good to be alive.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
Artie Lange