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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Playing
Lines
Mirage
Kids
Mirages
Backyard
Backyards
Minnesota
Gambling
Line

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange