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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Lines
Mirage
Kids
Mirages
Backyard
Backyards
Minnesota
Gambling
Line
Playing

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange