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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Time
Sad
Vegas
Sadness
Tragedy
Comedy
Happiness
Means
Mean
More quotes by Artie Lange
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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It's good to be alive.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange