Quote

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Tragedy
Comedy
Happiness
Means
Mean
Time
Sad
Vegas
Sadness

More quotes by Artie Lange

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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
Artie Lange
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange