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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Running
Money
Problem
Drugs
Drug
More quotes by Artie Lange
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
Artie Lange
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange