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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Angel
Time
Yankee
Stadium
Stadiums
Yankees
Dust

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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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