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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Happiest
Black
Time
Life

More quotes by Artie Lange

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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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It's good to be alive.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange