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It's good to be alive.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Alive
Good

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
Artie Lange
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange