Quote

It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Play
Card
Life
Cards
Draw
Draws
Gonna
Asked
Fine
Five

More quotes by Artie Lange

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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange