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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Life
Cards
Draw
Draws
Gonna
Asked
Fine
Five
Play
Card

More quotes by Artie Lange

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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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It's good to be alive.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange