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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Richard
Genius
Dark
Wish
Artist
Something
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More quotes by Artie Lange

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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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It's good to be alive.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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