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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Wish
Artist
Something
Like
Richard
Genius
Dark

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange