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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Wish
Artist
Something
Like
Richard
Genius
Dark

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It's good to be alive.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange