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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Artist
Something
Like
Richard
Genius
Dark
Wish

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
Artie Lange
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
Artie Lange