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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Richard
Genius
Dark
Wish
Artist
Something
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More quotes by Artie Lange
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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It's good to be alive.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange