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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Richard
Genius
Dark
Wish
Artist
Something
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More quotes by Artie Lange

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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange