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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Richard
Genius
Dark
Wish
Artist
Something
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More quotes by Artie Lange

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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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It's good to be alive.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange