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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Athlete
Kids
Always
Thin
More quotes by Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
Artie Lange
My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange