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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Thin
Athlete
Kids
Always

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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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