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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Kids
Always
Thin
Athlete

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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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It's good to be alive.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange