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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
First
Castro
Country
Dealt
Communist
Name
Movie
Names
Prima
Running
Donna
Firsts
Fidel
More quotes by Artie Lange
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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