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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Darling
Critics
None
Movies
Might
Darlings

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange