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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
None
Movies
Might
Darlings
Darling
Critics

More quotes by Artie Lange

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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
Artie Lange
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange