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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Darlings
Darling
Critics
None
Movies
Might

More quotes by Artie Lange

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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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It's good to be alive.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange