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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Darlings
Darling
Critics
None
Movies
Might

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange