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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Comedy
Night
Stay

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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It's good to be alive.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange