Quote

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Jokes
Especially
Anything
Apologizing
Joke

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Artie Lange
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
Artie Lange
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
Artie Lange
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange