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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Life
Pondered
Astronaut
Historically
Equally
Comedy
Successful
Dream

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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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