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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Pondered
Astronaut
Historically
Equally
Comedy
Successful
Dream
Life

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange