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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Historically
Equally
Comedy
Successful
Dream
Life
Pondered
Astronaut

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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It's good to be alive.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange