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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Ever
Thing
People
Googled
Depressing
Hoping
Dies
More quotes by Artie Lange
The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
Artie Lange
If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
It's good to be alive.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange
Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Artie Lange