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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Hoping
Dies
Ever
Thing
People
Googled
Depressing

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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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It's good to be alive.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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