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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Depressing
Hoping
Dies
Ever
Thing
People
Googled

More quotes by Artie Lange

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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Artie Lange
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Artie Lange
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
Artie Lange
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
Artie Lange
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange