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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Thing
People
Googled
Depressing
Hoping
Dies
Ever

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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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It's good to be alive.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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