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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
First
Googling
Predict
Depressed
Early
Talk
Death
Firsts

More quotes by Artie Lange

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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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It's good to be alive.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange