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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Predict
Depressed
Early
Talk
Death
Firsts
First
Googling

More quotes by Artie Lange

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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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