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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
First
Googling
Predict
Depressed
Early
Talk
Death
Firsts

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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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It's good to be alive.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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