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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Seem
Fine
Seems
Kind
Incur
Vegas

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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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It's good to be alive.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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