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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Fine
Seems
Kind
Incur
Vegas
Seem

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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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