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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Kind
Incur
Vegas
Seem
Fine
Seems

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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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It's good to be alive.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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