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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Vegas
Seem
Fine
Seems
Kind
Incur

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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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It's good to be alive.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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