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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Courses
Course
High
Way
Mighty
World
Writers
Serious
Takes
Sports

More quotes by Artie Lange

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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Artie Lange
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
Artie Lange
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
Artie Lange
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie Lange
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange