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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Way
Mighty
World
Writers
Serious
Takes
Sports
Courses
Course
High

More quotes by Artie Lange

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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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It's good to be alive.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange