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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Good
Perpetual
Search
Road
Sleep
Night
More quotes by Artie Lange
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
Artie Lange
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
Artie Lange
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
Artie Lange
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange