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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
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Road
Sleep
Night
Good
Perpetual
More quotes by Artie Lange
It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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