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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Night
Good
Perpetual
Search
Road
Sleep
More quotes by Artie Lange
I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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It's good to be alive.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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