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When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Sleep
Night
Good
Perpetual
Search
Road
More quotes by Artie Lange
The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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