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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Moderation
Drinking
Drink
Point
Sometimes

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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
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