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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Always
Life
Whiskey
Part

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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
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It's good to be alive.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
Artie Lange