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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Like
Gamer
Vegas
Gambling
Weekend
Drinking
Christian
Born
Without

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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
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If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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I was always a thin kid I was an athlete.
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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
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