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A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

Artie Lange

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Artie Lange
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 11
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Arthur Steven Lange
Jr.
Arthur Lange
Jr.
Artie Steven Lange
Jr.
Artie Lange
Jr.
Born
Without
Like
Gamer
Vegas
Gambling
Weekend
Drinking
Christian

More quotes by Artie Lange

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Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
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Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
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'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
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Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
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It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
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I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.
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Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
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But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
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I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
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All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
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Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.
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Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
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Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.
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It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.
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I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
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I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
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Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Artie Lange