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You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

Art Donovan

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Art Donovan
Age: 88 †
Born: 1925
Born: June 5
Died: 2013
Died: August 4
American Football Player
New York City
New York
Toilets
Rises
Water
Bigs
Bathtub
Bathtubs
Toilet

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I guess telling stories is an art. I never looked at it that way. I just started talking, and everyone started laughing. So I kept talking, and they kept laughing.
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There's a lady up in heaven who must be very proud of the way the people in Baltimore have treated her boy from the Bronx.
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He runs like a camel. A really pissed off camel.
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Both sides of my family had come from Ireland in the 19th century for the same reason: There was nothing to eat over there. Since then, I've tried to make up for the potato famine by making the potato the only vegetable that passes these lips.
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The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up.
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The only weight I ever lifted weighed 24 ounces. It was a Schlitz. I always replaced my fluids.
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Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I'd walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops.
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The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore.
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I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.
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I went to college to play football, not to study it.
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