Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
Art Buchwald
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Life
Directors
Class
May
Look
Firsts
Looks
Titanic
First
Cruise
Going
Director
More quotes by Art Buchwald
I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
Art Buchwald
I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
Art Buchwald
Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
Art Buchwald
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
Art Buchwald
I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
Art Buchwald
The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
Art Buchwald
No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
Art Buchwald
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald
I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
Art Buchwald
This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
Art Buchwald
The things that matter most are not things.
Art Buchwald
I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
Art Buchwald
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a crook. Jimmy Carter says, I have lusted after women in my heart. President Reagan says, I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.
Art Buchwald
I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
Art Buchwald
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald
This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
Art Buchwald
People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
Art Buchwald