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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Economy
Else
Better
Everything
Worse
Gets

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Art Buchwald
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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
Art Buchwald
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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
Art Buchwald
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
Art Buchwald
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
Art Buchwald
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
Art Buchwald
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
Art Buchwald
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I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
Art Buchwald
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
Art Buchwald
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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
Art Buchwald
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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.
Art Buchwald
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This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
Art Buchwald
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
Art Buchwald
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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.
Art Buchwald
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I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
Art Buchwald
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
Art Buchwald
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Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
Art Buchwald