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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Better
Everything
Worse
Gets
Economy
Else

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.
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I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
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The things that matter most are not things.
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I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.
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The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
Art Buchwald
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald
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I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
Art Buchwald