Quote

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

Art Buchwald

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Rooms
Modern
Pretend
House
Son
Part
Door
Best
Clean
Way
Close
Doors
Room

More quotes by Art Buchwald

Image
I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.
Art Buchwald
Image
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
Image
The best things in life aren't things.
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
Art Buchwald
Image
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
Art Buchwald
Image
I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.
Art Buchwald
Image
... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
Art Buchwald
Image
I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.
Art Buchwald
Image
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Art Buchwald
Image
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Art Buchwald
Image
I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
Art Buchwald
Image
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
Art Buchwald
Image
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
Art Buchwald
Image
This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.
Art Buchwald
Image
If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
Art Buchwald
Image
Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
Art Buchwald
Image
The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
Art Buchwald
Image
Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
Art Buchwald
Image
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
Art Buchwald
Image
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
Art Buchwald