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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.

Art Buchwald

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Art Buchwald
Age: 81 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 20
Died: 2007
Died: January 17
Columnist
Essayist
Humorist
Journalist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Mount Vernon
New York
Time
Admitting
Nostalgia
Hung
Pretend
Sadness
Yesterday
Hell
Today

More quotes by Art Buchwald

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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.
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I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.
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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.
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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
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I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
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I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.
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The things that matter most are not things.
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If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.
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Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
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An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.
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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
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If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
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War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.
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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.
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Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
Art Buchwald
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It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald